Today, it seems as though divorce has taken precedence as the norm when it comes to relationships. At the same time, “true love” quickly appears to be becoming an old fashioned notion of the past. We have replaced ‘courting’ with Facebook messaging, dates with hookups, and exclamations of love with text messages. We are exposed to this culture, not only in our everyday lives, but in the media as well with a new celebrity announcing their divorce every week. We now turn to fairy tales and romantic comedies for our fix of what society has deemed the only true love.
However, in these seemingly discouraging and love-less times, there are stories which appear, making us remember that sometimes love is not simply a fairytale.
Meet Arthur (otherwise known as Bucky) Bachner, 90, and Selma Nadel, 88.
Arthur and Selma Bachner enjoy their regular table for two with a river view in a cafeteria at the hebrew home at Riverdale in the Bronx.
Source: Damon Winter/The New York Times
The New York Times published an article last month featuring the couple’s story, giving us a renewed sense of belief in true love. Selma and Bucky have been married for 65 years; and they’re still just as crazy about each other now as when they first met in 1940.
Arthur D. Bachner while in the Marines at Camp Lejeune, N.C., in 1943.
Source: New York Times
The couple met in the Bronx where they both lived when he was 15 and she was 13. She was jumping rope with her friends when he decided to pull a ribbon from her braided hair. As the ribbon slipped she chased after him, hitting him with her rope. After years of sneaking around her disapproving father, sharing pickles from the local Jewish delis, and his time of deployment as a Marine, the two married on March 20, 1949. Even after spending several years apart and seeing other people, Bucky was sure she was the one for him. In an interview for a radio show broadcast in New York, on Mother’s Day 1945, he was asked, “Are you married, Arthur?”
He replied, “No.”
The announcer continued, “You’ve got a best girl back home?”
“Definitely.”
Selma on a trip to the beach with Arthur when he was on furlough, wearing his fatigue jacket and dress cap.
Source: New York Times
The couple married on March 20, 1949.
Source: New York Times
Now, after children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, Selma and Bucky live together at the Hebrew Nursing Home in Riverdale. Although in good health, Bucky could not help Selma, who is confined to her wheelchair, with the assistance she needs, so he decided to move to the assisted living home with her. Even though the couple does not share a room, Selma says, “He stays in my room all day until it’s time to go to sleep.”
Arthur is 90 now, and Selma is 88. “We confide in each other,” he said. “Arguments are at a minimum.”
Source: New York Times
After 65 years of marriage Bucky told New York Times, “We’re not only good friends; we’re lovers. We confide in each other. Arguments are at a minimum.”
“We just move to the next day,” Selma said.
“Anyway,” Arthur said, “it turned out beautiful.”
